The Southern Contingent CITC group started the morning with usual ride chatter – who, when, where do we leave from….

We went off list – and into rider only chatter mode – so as to not get dumbass notes from Fudgie-HBWNR (House Bitch Who Never Rides), and also spare the others with revoked kitchen passes, and obscene distances from our logistics information messaging.

I made a morning decision to hop on an earlier flight from Boston to be greated by a literal MONSOON, highways closing scenario (in cage) – as Evil Bill announced he would have none of this and would arrive 1st thing Sat – while MJ confirmed a 2:00ish arrival to the Bagel shop, Thinker confirmed he was in – and side weather observations came in from the South/West Contingent (SWC).

As SWC announced a Plattekill arrival – it was clear that hook-up wasn’t going to happen considering I read the note in my driveway.

With a Thinker arrival to the driveway – and a stop to get MJ and a quick hello and observation from her with an air of disgust : ‘who am I kidding dressing like I’m going bar hopping’ I proceed to put on the rain jacket. I kept my mouth shut and didn’t verbalize “Yeah MJ – you look like Stork in the Stork Suit – or that other guy John what’s his name that dresses in some ripped up NASA space suit from 1954” – which was a good thing because the joke might just be on me.

We were off.

Minus some usual TZ traffic – we were doing nice slab time. Then the misting…. then the wet cars coming at us, and then the real rain.

I had exit 19 on my mind, and ignored the cold and rain – as Thinker pulled in front and stopped under a bridger to get completely rain-geared out.

As we stopped I realized how FUCKING COLD I was. To get my pants on was a huge pain in the ass, and I was shaking so the zippers were a complete bitch and we had little room because of the 8 inch stream the side of the road became. To make life easier I took my phone off – stuck it on the tour pack – and made the mental note that this was not to be forgotten. 10 minutes later and mentally exhausted from trying not to shake to finalize the gear button-up – we were off. I didn’t put on my sweatshirt under the jacket – as I figured we would be exiting right there to a gas station – and I didn’t want to get colder to get warmer at that point.

We passed Exit 19, so much for that, now I get it  – and MJ and Thinker returned to normal insane speeds in the rain – and all I could think about was how much I was shaking, and thinking “GOD DAMN IT – DO NOT CLENCH YOUR FUCKING TEETH – WE KNOW WHAT THAT OUTCOME IS”. And then thinking – MJ is going to put some weird space-suit on me or some shit. No way was I getting into GMCP land!

I slowed to 40 MPH as the shaking was out of control, the others were way gone by now – and I saw a sign for the next exit – so that was going to be that.

Fortunately that was our exit – and I saw the others waiting for me to limp off the road. At this point I was shaking so much I wasn’t sure what was going to happen when I sent the ‘foot down’ command….

We got some gas – got inside – and got a real large coffee. As I regained consciousness – I kept thinking about an airport. Now I’m really losing it – me thinks. Then the connection – my phone. I left one in Ibiza – and now I87 has this one! Shit – I say – I’ll just call AT&T – and get another – gah…. Then MJ and Thinker say “we’ll go get it”. I say there is no way I’m going back there at that time – needed to get warm in any case. With some logistics and map consultation MJ and Thinker are off – I’m drinking 3 more coffess and reading Maxim Magazine with people with no teeth marveling that I can read.

In relatively no time the gang is back with the smile – so I knew the mission was a success. Woot! Dry too.

Some logistics and planning, radio the home-base – which announces we are pretty close. MJ proclaims she will meet her buddies, Thinker and I will proceed – and we will noodle over the rest later.

Thinker and I are greeted by a bunch of parked motocycles – many of which we didn’t know – and the welcoming shitfaced crew that promptly decended down from the main building.

(See other Ride Report for the follow-on)









  1. biff says:

    You mention Gay MC Phil in the title and then NOTHING about him in the RR??? Tease! I guess you forgot to draw the corollary between freezing jaw-locked parked on the exit ramp Americade Phil and yourself. BTW, HBWNR doesn’t really work for me. Too complicated and can’t pronounce.

  2. MJ says:

    written in BOTAese too. This is one we must save for posterity.

    I didn’t even know you were shaking. I was oblivious to your pain because I was dry and warm. I’m glad we were able to recover your phone, did Thinker tell you about the field we ran across behind the police barracks to get it?

  3. thynk3r says:

    Is it pretty gay to be mentally exhausted from putting on your rain gear???

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